Not The Blue Ribbon I Was Wanting

Winter has awoken, and so has my internal champion weight prized pig. And she is huuungry. Christmas before last, our family lost someone who was deeply cared for. I marked the occasion by putting on 5lbs. I guess over the last two years I had been worried that my 5 would be lonely, so I gave them another 5. Now I'm in no pants land. The size I should be in is snug and the size larger falls down.  My abdomen stays on the tender side because of water retention and my ever changing Flolan Rorschach spots. So it's either wear something that hurts or risk accidentally pantsing myself. I'm starting to see the sense in velour jog suits.

When I was at my if-I-turn-sideways-you-can't-see-me-weight, I was thrilled to put on some poundage. I needed the body fat to stay warm, not get painfully hungry, not fear wooden benches. I don't think you can know the importance of a padded bottom until you sit down hard at a picnic table. The extra weight seems to fit me well, I've gotten more complements than ever. But still....

Somehow this last 10 seems unfair. Like squatters have taken over my thighs. My goal is to evict 5lbs. Doing so will put me back into all of last year's fashions and pants size. So, in an effort to reclaim what is mine, I decided to write down the healthy meals that are easy for me to make and then cross referenced them with what I actually had in the pantry and then made out an excel file of the items (numbering 8) I needed and which stores I would need to go to (numbering 4) . Then I had to clean out the fridge of desserts and dinners past that were not actually going to get eaten, got rid of the stuff that no one should eat, poured over recipe books sure that someone else could come up with better meal plan that did not include protein powder mac&cheese. Grilled my husband on what he liked to eat, tried to come up with a game plan of restaurants that were safe for me to eat at (sushi, Thai, salad bar), realized that even what I actually eat there is never as angelic as I had originally hoped (fried tofu, green curry, opt for pizza instead of salad). Decided that I could no longer be trusted to eat out and must give it up. Mourned the loss of my lunch's out with mini ranger cookies. After 2 hours of making myself crazy, I decided that just paying attention to what I ate would be easier.  Today was going to be the first day.

Pre-Breakfast
1 cup OJ mixed with fresh Pomegranate Cranberry Juice
100 Calories

Breakfast 7a.m
1 cup Buckwheat Flakes with 1/4 Banana and Flax Milk
200 Calories

Snack 10a.m.
1/2 small bag Potato Chips with 1 tbl Salmon Spread and Cherry Coke
310 Calories

Lunch 12:30p.m.
Cheeseburger and Fried Onion Petals with Iced Tea
Oh the humanity! Calories

Stop on the way home 1:15p.m.
Chocolate Croissant and Almond Pastry
Oh the pounds will show up tomorrow, bet they're on your bottom, tomorrow! Calories

Nap to avoid eating anything else 1:37p.m.
Considering a sleeping pill - does it have calories?

3:30p.m.
Woke up waay too soon.
3 bites of Almond Pastry, 1 of Chocolate Croissant
1 Zantac after I remembered that heartburn was the reason I woke up. Pastry did not help.
Doesn't count, still asleep. Calories

Dinner 6:30p.m.
Rotkohl, Steamed Asparagus, Honey's Turkey Meatloaf
No idea, but I didn't use oil, butter, bacon, salt or cheese, so I don't care. Calories

11:30p.m. Bedtime
5 large purple Grapes
? Calories

Okay...sooo. Yeah. How have I not put on 15 lbs? How did I fit all of that food into me? Is there any Cherry Coke left? At least I know that whatever I do tomorrow will automatically be better than what I did today. Especially if I put the cola in Karl's lunch bag.